Voices of Conscience
I've written before about the question that looms over me. What is conscience? And can the voice of God come through it? Or can it be the voice of Purpose?
Today is a day of torment, for the voices of conscience cannot agree.
- One voice says - act rationally, set boundaries.
- The second voice says - but you're a good boy, be kind and gentle.
- Amidst all this, a third voice emerges, saying: This can all be reconciled. You can find that golden path that will satisfy both versions of yourself.
- In such conflicts, a fourth voice screams - finish with this and don't waste time, stop these thoughts from racing in your head. Quench one version of yourself, and fully justify the other (and you know, this voice usually wins).
- A fifth voice barely restrains itself from dumping all this torment and situation on someone close, seeking support. Support that would mean only one thing - you're doing great. As if it's an objective external observation.
Let's dissect their imperfections a bit:
- Rational Self - seems the most adequate, but conflicts arise through it. And that's very unpleasant.
- Gentle Self - such a darling that should satisfy everyone around and harm no one. And everyone will love him. But this isn't living truthfully.
- Perfect Self - a pure perfectionist of theoretical models, setting incredible tasks for himself. He's like a butterfly, flitting here and there, thinking one can serve both this and that.
- Impatient Self - tired of the suspended state and the torments associated with it. Wants to finish everything as quickly as possible, having chosen a single truth.
- Seeking Validation Self - he's like the Impatient one, but looks for someone to affirm that he's doing great. This Self is ready to mix facts to get external validation and silence his other voices.