псіхалогія ⁽⁸⁾

When I worked in the company, I tried many different tools and frameworks to improve productivity.

What worked for me was David Allen's GTD, even in its light version, and Dorofeev's Empty Inbox method became fully integrated.

But let's look at this from a psychological perspective.

The stimulus for both is the desire for Control over the situation. To not let anything go past us. So we don't miss out on anything. And we're not the cause of adverse outcomes. For instance, not losing money, not breaking agreements, or missing opportunities. Of course, it's hard to feel the guilt and consequences of one's imperfections. But consider the amount of effort required to control all streams of information and tasks, even using the most effective methodology. This machine consumes a lot of energy, and in return, it only provides psychological comfort and no resilience.

You know, there are websites that offer alternative software for some program. So, could we incorporate various psychological applications as an alternative to task managers and the like?

There are people who radiate light, but do not grasp it, instead clinging to various dirty trifles of their life. Like the blind, they run past their light, denying its existence. They suffer from imperfection, only looking at the dark sides of themselves, while demeaning their bright sides with words to deceit, manipulation, and so on. It’s hard for them to accept themselves as good, as bright. Someone once denied them this right. They don't allow it themselves. Great fear falls upon them. They are left only to hope that they are such. Bathe me in the past, and let me bathe you now. You are good, bright, filled with love. Correct yourselves.

In the past few months, Grandma Raya has been seriously ill with oncology.

Today, I received a message from my father: "Raya has passed away."

Inside, there is silence. No words on the lips. The boundlessness of the power of death and its undeniable meaning. But everything is covered in mystery. Silence everywhere. I don't want any meaningless word to escape in response to this message. There are no such words. Only hope, faith, and love. Like vulnerable flower shoots amidst the asphalt of this life.

In the photograph, my children are with Grandma Raya and my grandfather Kolya several years ago.

Two years ago, when I was once again planning to launch a new project (startup), I started to ponder. What deep and vital meaning am I putting into it? Why do I need it? Why should I care about those people to whom I wanted to offer an IT solution?

• I couldn't find an answer.

I delved into the search for meaning. I sought it solely for my business realization. So that, once found, I could pursue it to the end with genuine motivation and full strength, without straying off course. Now, to me, this quest feels like searching for a magical elixir of life to sprinkle on flowers. On this magical journey of seeking meaning, of searching for my profound and true Desire, I have re-evaluated many things.

Now, as I approach a new stage in life, I'm searching for my professional realization that resonates with my life's purpose. So far, I can describe this activity as: "Helping people in their search for their own meaning, in discovering their own true Desire." Clearly, I still need a few more years of studying to become a psychotherapist (or an existential therapist, or a psychoanalyst, while the work still revolves around meanings). To not delay the practical aspect, I could obtain a coaching certification and start dealing with simpler and standard issues, like choosing a profession, a workplace, or finding your personal place in all of this.

That's a brief insight into my plans.

Here it is, the twist. The opposition. The thought that challenges the Desire to become a psychotherapist.

All because I read posts from some Russian school of psychologists. Everything seems fine, but there's even more about where to find clients, how to do marketing, some typical answers and schemes. In my world, all of this was imagined differently. More sacred, delicate, significant.

I anticipate how complicated this path can be. How diverse people are. How powerless a therapist and even the individual themselves can be. And probably, one will need to come to terms with this powerlessness. Clinging to the remnants of meaningful gems in every person.

When I began my new AR activity, I formulated the goal as: to help other people in realizing their purposes and desires. One of the important criteria was a person's understanding of the meaning of their life, the purpose of their activity. Being around such people and talking to them brought me great joy. It inspired me. This way, I was connected to genuine meanings, even if they weren't mine, even if I didn't share all those meanings.

Now, having slightly uncovered a handful of my deep Desires (meanings), I've started to view others' Desires a bit differently. I better realize how they differ from mine. But this is where subjectivity matters. My meaning is solely mine. But with these people, what unites me is the importance of purpose in life, and the work of exploring the meaning of one's life.

Thank you for being together. With respect to your meanings!