Даша ⁽⁶⁾

A dirt road. A handrail. The creak of a wooden platform. A key in a rusty lock. The eerie clatter of chains. The oars are released. I was warned that if the locals call the police, just reassure them that everything is fine and that there's an arrangement. However, it feels like Dasha and I are stealing a boat in the middle of the night. Finally, we've unwound the chains. As we climbed in, we realized there's no guarantee the boat won't capsize. The phone flashlight does illuminate somewhat, but mostly blinds us. We decided not to go far. Goosebumps cover our skin. The sound of oars hitting the water. Occasional bubbles. From time to time, a fish jumps out. In the nearby forests, dogs bark. It was supposed to be romantic. Stars in the sky without any light pollution. The stars are beautiful. We even found a candle and lit it. The other one didn’t light. A thermos with hot tea. Small cups. Tasty candies. But through all of this, our vulnerability. Our fears laid bare before each other, that's where the beauty lies. We sat and shared our anxieties and fears, which was comforting. Every now and then, I'd get so engrossed in our conversation. The backdrop against which I saw Dasha (the lake surface, shadows from the dark forest, the dark forest itself, some distant lights, stars) resembled a Zoom or Google Meet background. An unreal backdrop. Another challenge was finding the dock. We'd been carried away by the unnoticed current. Reeds brush against the oars. The boat scrapes against another boat. All these sounds, like whispered human voices. We immediately thought there were people nearby. But it was only the sounds of the night. Such a little journey into the mysteries of our soul.

I'm afraid of many things. But I'd like to live my life facing those fears, with depth, meaning, and true love. True love conquers fear.

Thank you, my beloved, for agreeing to such an adventure.

"The one for whom I walked to the cross, carries me in her arms."

Thank you, my love. Meeting you was a turning point in my life. That hidden part of a magical fairy tale, which usually starts from the end and is never voiced, touched me. I live in it. In the fairy tale with you. Where every moment is unpredictable. Where challenges alternate with rewards, solitude with unity, joy with sorrow, tension with relaxation. I feel a deep need for you, and I believe you feel the same need for me.

Let's dance, the dance of our life, and even death will not part us.

I've badly slept.
I've badly eaten.
I've barely died today.

We came to the forest.
I hugged a pine.
Wandered with Dasha into its depths.

...
The forest speaks in depth.
About my feelings, my dreams.

She is my favourite.
She is the world.
She is the meaning.
She is Dasha.
She is Mom.
She is inspiration and grounding.
Dasha has a birthday tomorrow.
Kisses.

I get lost, hide, rejoice, but I can't find my place. This usually happens when our eyes meet, when I feel something very pleasant and touching. It was like that yesterday. Dasha wrote such a poem: [link to the poem]. And she read it to me, eye to eye. I freeze and barely contain the turbulence inside me. It's hard to find words to describe what's happening inside me. I feel like I'm hearing something I don't deserve. As if it's a mistake. And then a moment passes, and this sweet mirage dissipates. It seems that this can't be true. The pleasant can't be real. These words, eye to eye, make me feel exposed. They pierce and highlight all my imperfections. They scream, feeling dangerously heavy and uncomfortable.

And again, we return to Joy-Existence. How hard it is to return to "Unique joy-existence", to the greatest value of "You are a Human!". Regardless of achievements, appearance, character, or intelligence. "I am a human!" - and that's enough. Nothing can give us more than this word. Starting with this "I am a Human", one can Live, Love, and be loved, rejoice, search, and find. And nothing else is needed. No conditions, statuses, or parameters. This is enough; starting with this, one can Live!

I'll say Yes to Life! I'll say to my Beloved - Thank you, my dear, for being!

Not the money I earn,
Not achievements or performances,
Not travels,
Not growth,
Not work,
Not code,
Not skills,
Not things,
And not diplomas on the wall.

What makes me strong is, That I love you.

Thank you, my dear, for inspiring love with love.