When You Don't Have Yourself

I remember well when I came to the Church. Everything resonated inside and out. I felt very good and confident. I accepted all the traditions as they should be. As the ultimate truth, where wisdom passed from generation to generation, the guides of wisdom never contradicted each other (as I imagined it then). And they have already outlined and said: "what to do, what to beware of, what to pay attention to." And most importantly for me!!!! What and how to think, what and how to feel.

This was a crucial point. I gladly accepted such instruction. I had never looked deep within myself and did not trust myself. I lived by the desires of other people. So switching from one to another was very easy. And I just began to feel and think as the holy ones of the Orthodox Church wrote. I fit into the community and tradition, feeling completely comfortable there.

And here I thought, well why is it so hard for other people to take and start thinking correctly, feeling correctly?

Well, what can I say now... Only a person who does not have and does not know themselves can change so easily under any request. Mostly to meet not their own, but some other group and criteria.

And here, when you already accept yourself, when you explore yourself and your depth. Then any external benchmarks and criteria begin to correspond much more with your own essence. And are accepted, only if they really do not contradict the deep and true you.